Diagnosis

Every year, I go to my doctor for an annual examination.  He weighs me, measures blood pressure, looks at the blood test, compares it with previous years, etc. And thusly he carries out his survey.   This visit was no different from any of the previous ones.  At the end of his assessment, he looked at his computer and said: “You have an older brother, he turned 75 years old. How is he?”

“He died six months ago.” I replied.

The doctor expressed his condolences and asked: “And what was the diagnosis?”

“Diagnosis?”- I asked.

“Well, the cause of death.”- the doctor said.

For a moment, I thought about it.  In my head, the events of that week, unsuccessful attempts to contact my brother, e-mails to his son, then a night call from my nephew: “DAD HAS DIED”, flew by like a whirlwind.   Then I recalled attempts to find out the diagnosis. That is, until it became clear that in Russia older people do not have autopsies performed on them.  The diagnosis is set simply: natural causes due to old age.

I mechanically repeated his question: “Diagnosis?” and with a bitter grin replied, “He was a long-liver.”

The doctor stared at me in bewilderment.

“In Russia, till now the average life expectancy of men is about 64 years.” I told him, explaining away my earlier comment.

”Yes, now I recall.  You told me that he lives in Russia.”  The doctor said and shook his head understandingly.